Too Many Choices

"My bane & antidote are both before me."
Addison, Cato, Act V, Sc. 1
(on choices)

Well, October's nearly halfway over, & now I not only don't know how I want to dress-up for Halloween (other than, I DO want to dress-up for Halloween, because how many opportunities do women my age get to play dress-up & pretend?) But now, I also need to settle on at least a genre/theme, if not a plot outline for NaNoWriMo - ( if you don't already know from last post or elsewhere, that is where you willingly agree to participate in the insane concept of writing a 50,000 word novel in the month of Nov. - all of it; in one short month!) The problem isn't that I don't have ideas - I have ideas; entirely too many of them! How do I choose? Some of these novel ideas I've been carrying around since I was a kid (& that's quite a long time - one of my kids now has kids!). I can't even settle on a costume for a one-day lark! And I expect to be able to settle on one concept for a novel! Do I go with horror (a la' Shelley)? Sci-Fi (Bradbury was the first author I ever met & forever has a special place in my brain's inspiration station); or comedy (I love to laugh & make others laugh) - Or some bizarre conglomeration of them all, sort of a female Tom Robbins (I wish!)? I guess I'll find out what the muse has in store for me when the clock strikes 12:01 Halloween night! Halloween night!! What the heck am I gonna wear for Halloween!?! Fairy (love 'em, done it often though); Corpse Bride (hmm, scare the grandkids...); Mermaid (mmm...the abs aren't what they used to be - come to think of it, a lot of parts aren't where they used to be...)
And so the little hamster wheel in my brain whirls round & round through the night....

Blockheads

No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money.
Samuel Johnson (Boswell, Life)

A man may write at any time if he set himself doggedly to it.
Samuel Johnson (Boswell, Life)

If good ol' Samuel Johnson couldn't make up his mind how he felt about writing, then at least I'm in good company, blockheads or not.

In honor of National Novel Writing Month (in November), I've informed my family & friends, I'm joining in the NaNoWriMo marathon - wherein you begin at 12:01 am, November 1st (in other words, 1 minute after midnight, Halloween night), and write till you have a 50,000 word novel, and/or it's midnight, November 30th. Don't expect to hear much from me in November, folks (all 3 of you; my loyal readers, hanging on the edge of your seats for my next post! lol :>)
But if you've ever said to yourself, "Someday, I'm going to write a novel!" - well maybe you should hop over to their website & check it out....http://nanowrimo.com
Misery's not the only one who loves company - insanity does, too! C'mon, everybody - what's a little 50,000 word novel going to take? Why that's barely a novella! Only - what, 10-12 pages daily of typewritten prose....C'mon, it'll be fun! So we have Swanson TV dinners for Thanksgiving - it's a small price to pay for the artful life, isn't it? Hellooo! I said, "Isn't it?" Is anybody there? You're not reading anymore, are you?
Fine. Just wait till December 1st & I'm officially a novelist. Huh! - you'll wish you'd paid better attention to my writing then! (lmao) :>D
So, this is your 2 week warning, everyone! Don't expect much out of me for a good month (maybe longer, if carpal tunnel or repetitive motion injuries occur - who knew writing could be so dangerous to your health? Shouldn't this keyboard have little Surgeon General warning stickers on it?)
Hope I have the Write Stuff & cross the finishline with 50,000 words on Nov 30th!

Nothing is ended with honour which does not conclude better than it began.
Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, No. 207)

Book Woman

When I would know thee...my thought looks
Upon thy well-made choice of friends and books;
Then do I love thee, and behold thy ends
In making thy friends books, and thy books friends.
Ben Johnson, Epigrams, No. 86

"What is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations,"
Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, page 1

"That will be $22.95 in late fees, please."
Disapproving Librarian, heard in a Southern California Public Library, today

Faster than a speedreader! (Not) More powerful than a librarian! (Not!) It's a verb! It's a name! It's Book Woman! (Yep)
Terri aka Tinker aka Book Woman, Librarian's Most Wanted List

"Book 'em, Dan-O!"
Jack Lord, Hawaii Five-O, TV before TiVo

Now that little unpleasantness is behind me, let's see what books I'm not going to have enough time to read/look at this month....The Mermaid Chair, Sue Monk Kidd; How to Buy, Sell & Profit on E-Bay, Adam Ginsberg; Do It For Less! Parties, Denise Vivaldo; The Mixed Media Sourcebook, Sean Dye; Crystal Cove Cottages - Islands In Time On the California Coast, text by Karen Steen, photography by John Connell; New Mexico Artists at Work, text by Dana Newmann, photography by Jack Parsons; Puppetry - A World History, Eileen Blumenthal.
So, read any good books lately?

LOST IN SUBURBIA

(Or: With a Neighbor Like Me, Who Needs TV?)
Since this past weeks' Illustration Friday Theme is "Lost," & I'm still very low-tech here on the blog frontier, I'll illustrate with words, how my neighbors most likely think (more than ever), "That woman next door has LOST her mind!"
First, a little background information: In case you didn't read the header on my blog, I'm an animal lover...actually it's gone way beyond that. And animals KNOW this! Apparently, I give off some sort of pheremones that are the equivalent of a flashing neon sign over the Statue of Liberty to lost/abandoned animals within a 5 mile radius - Bring us your tired, your poor......I'm sure you think I'm exaggerating, but seriously donkeys have shown up at my door (we found their owner, thank God); a little tame white bunny - on Easter Sunday no less (he apparently escaped an Easter egg hunt gone bad - he was covered in little pastel egg-dye handprints, with one ear flopped over, missing half his tail fur! :-o What else could I do when no one answered the ad, but set-up bunnykeeping in the spare bathroom. Where else do you keep a furniture & electrical wire-eating rodent in a houseful of cats? The dogs have the patio; the frogs have the other bathroom....Now back to today's sub-topic: cats. Cats are especially sensitive to my animal magnetism. No one ever answers ads on lost cats. Apparently most cat owners (or um, former cat owners, or for the love of God, prospective cat owners!) either are illiterate or simply do not take the local newspaper. Someone really needs to establish a literacy program for these people. Anyway - some of the latest boarders at our bed & breakfast for pets are Popcorn, Ginny & Peanuts. The Crackerjack twins are still being tamed & are therefore, camping outdoors for now - so at least four times a day the neighbors are treated to what sounds like a carnie vendor hawking their wares: "Popcorn! Peanuts! Pop--corn!! Pea--nuts!!" So, I'm sounding just a little nuttier than ever to them already. Then today, having only the funds at the moment to obtain contraception for 2 of the 3 newbies, the girls won. After a hectic round-up, got them into their carriers & off to the Spaymobile (unlike other -mobiles, not nearly as much fun as it sounds) & on to work. Then back after work to pick them up & off to home...leave them in the car temporarily while I unlock...oops! where's the housekey? (for reasons too complicated to go into here - yes I have my housekey & my car key on separate keyrings - don't ask right now) Tear everything out of my purse...nope...doublecheck the pockets....nope! Damn! I must have left it in the house this morning when I was rounding up cats! Ok - there's got to be a way in...try all doors....try all windows...including ones that require dragging a lawnchair over, so I can then get to the crook in the treebranch, ugh, cobwebs, OW! dammit! the little spindly tree twigs have me by the hair, but, look, oof, this window isn't locked!! YEA!! Woo-hoo!!! Get the screen off, oops! crash! Well, at least nobody was down there to get hurt... Ok, now, it's open a crack, just work fingers under & push up...I said Up, dammit! Please for the love of God, GO UP!! (& yes, much of this I am actually saying OUT LOUD, because I have just lost my mind that much). In background: sounds of increasingly more frantic kitties crying from their carriers in the open car - "meow!, Meow!!, MEOW!!!" then, as Peanuts decides he really must see what's wrong with his sister, jumps into the car & sticks his little nose into Oops! Ginny's carrier! Hiss! Growl! Hiss! MEOW! ad nauseam - "Popcorn! Peanuts! Gin!" - yes, I've now expanded my wares - OK, get leg over from tree...to windowsill...& in we go! right over the end table, the lamp, oops, what the hell was that? oh, lotion, now all over the magazines...Ok, back thru the house to the front door, back to the car, breaking up the stand-off, since Peanuts won't abandon his post by his sister Popcorn, & Ginny has regained enough consciousness to blame Peanuts for everything that has gone horribly WRONG with her day, "Popcorn, Peanuts, Gin - Stop It!" (keep in mind, I now have my hair sticking up in ways hair was never meant to, & adorned with assorted twigs, leaves & cobwebs). I snatch up the cat carrier from the car seat & VOILA! Guess what has magically appeared! Yes! The *&^%$#@ KEYS!!! I now proceed to use words that I refuse to lower myself any farther by repeating here....LOUDLY!!! (Did I mention I live in what is, apart from our house, a very quiet, conservative neighborhood?) Oh well, they say there's one in every bunch - someone's got to play the part of the kooky neighbor! Can you guess who it is? Did you pick me? How'd you guess?
And so ends this week's episode of "Lost In Suburbia." Stay tuned for further adventures of the crazy cat lady - next payday, it's Peanuts' turn to visit the Spaymobile.....

Perspective

Now that I'm mostly recovered from my own little personal worries, I'm listening to the news & am in shock about the devastating tragedies going on yet again in the world. This seems to be one of the worst years I can ever remember for catastrophic events happening all over the world. It's almost as though we're fleas, and Gaia's determined to kick us off of her....
My heart goes out to all the people involved in these latest tragic events.
Inventors/engineers: nerf buildings would also be an idea whose time has come (see Car-Ma post).

Car-Ma

You know how phone calls after 9:00 pm can make you jump (because you just know it's bad news) but then it usually turns out to be a wrong number or your friend who's single & has no concept of time? Except, sometimes, your heart jumped for a reason....& though it may not be the best of news, at least it's not as bad as it could be. And you're just deeply grateful. But you may need to remind yourself of that several times, when the after 9:00 phone call starts out like this:
"Mom, before I say anything else, I need you to promise you won't say "oh, my Gawd!" or freak out or anything, ok?"
Then you just have to keep reminding yourself to breathe.
Well, the bad news is: the car is totalled :-( The good news is: my youngest, my baby, is ok : -)
Shook up; a little bruised; but OKAY. The people in the other car are OK. She's OK; really OK.
Thank you, God.
Hug the people you love tonight. Every night. Because you just never know how each day will end. I am thankful my day ended as well as it did; it could have been so much worse.
And I'm writing this down now, so I can go back & read it again when the next insurance bill comes.
Would someone please invent Nerf cars?

QUEEN OF THE BEACH

The past week has been a whirlwind, a rollercoaster; & being extremely sensitive to motion sickness, I am not a fan of rollercoasters!
This week, I have:
Worked my second 6 day week in a row.
Been praised by 2 people I work with; had my head bitten off by 3 others (on separate occasions).
An unidentified person left their 1/2 eaten plate of food sitting out over night (I have 4 cats - I'm sure I don't need to go into graphic, gory detail of the aftermath). Authorities continue to question suspects in this crime.
A raging fire erupts 1/2 a mile away. Smoke, ashes, sinus headache & sleepless night ensue.
A mysterious puddle of ice cold water has been deposited on the kitchen floor in front of the fridge each morning this week. Authorities are also investigating possible leads on this mystery.
(This is a busy week for authorities at our house.)
Fire under control in my area; less smoke, ashes; sinus headache however, persists; as does yet another sleepless night, because:
I am reminded that yes, it is this weekend that I promised (over a month ago!) I would babysit; and (in a separate incident with a different person) -
Am reminded that you know how I said if the art association ever needed help with anything, they could call me - well, they need help with food, set-up & clean-up for the art reception that takes place on my one day off. While I'm still babysitting.
(Remind myself repeatedly through the sleepless night, that I am waaaay too eager to please others)
After loading jeep up to the roof for art show, remind myself of a couple of last items needed; remind myself to lock up jeep before going back into the building to get them; forget to remind myself to take the keys out of the ignition....
Finally arrtive home to discover - bathroom faucet has now joined forces with the refrigerator. Turns on....does not turn off. At all. In fact, efforts to turn it off at the tap, only succeed in it being turned on MORE. Does not turn off even when you turn off the supposed under-sink (misnamed) 'turn-off' valve. Forget a plumber, who we can't afford anyway, just call a freaking exorcist! After even more water on the floor than the fridge has manifested so far, authorities manage to turn off water at water main. However, authorities not in agreement on this solution, due to issues such as sanitation, showers, & just what the heck are we going to wear through this overbooked weekend if authorities do not take care of dirty laundry!
Manage to find something clean to wear to outdoor art show. In last minute burst of artistic optimism, decide to pin on beloved heirloom copper maple leaf. An hour later, after numerous hikes to & from jeep unloading display boards, artwork, chairs, etc. discover gaping hole on shirt - where an heirloom copper maple leaf brooch was once pinned. Look down at the surrounding ground, & the approximately 10 gagillion leaves that cover it, as far the eye can see, because, news alert - it's fall! & try desperately not to cry. Remind self to price metal detectors on e-bay.
Survive day of sweltering heat (news alert to non-Californians - it may be fall as far you & the trees are concerned; however, the sun does not bow down to autumn's authority here) and periodic gusting winds that knock down paintings. Then knock down display. Three times.
Art show ends. Sales never begin. However, valuable contacts made, resulting in 3 upcoming exhibits.
Stop at store & spend way more than I should on food for tomorrow's reception considering need refrigerator & plumbing repairs; need to save up for a metal detector; & there were no sales made for my clients or me! Also buy pizza to take home, because - I'm going home to babysit.
Arrive home to find babysittees awaiting. Greeted by babysittees as a returning hero! Am informed that they want to grow up to be artists just like me & I must sit for them while they draw my portrait; repeatedly; in different poses; with different cats. Am then asked (as an authority) to award winning artwork. The figurative "Beautiful Artist Resting," depicting me reclining on sofa with hand to forehead (a la death scene from "Camille"), surrounded by cats, was awarded first place. Grand prize, however, went to "QUEEN OF THE BEACH" depicting me and my eldest cat Cleo, surfing.
And so tonight, despite the whole damn rollercoaster ride this week, I will finally sleep well. Because I was reminded: I am loved (with or without authority); I am an artist; I am a cool surfin' granny with a cat sidekick; I AM QUEEN OF THE BEACH!!!